06 May 2009


It seems like every time I set foot outside my house, I smell pot.  I first noticed it when I was cleaning off the back patio, and I heard my neighbors behind the fence, hanging out by their pool.  I thought it was a cigar at first, and then I realized what it was...blunts.  The whitest kids you know, totally NOT in the hood, smoking blunts.  Wow.  Then, yesterday, while I was weeding my front flower beds, the kids next door were standing around in their driveway/garage, and I caught a whiff of it again.  (Smelled like decent stuff...NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW!)

Now, I have to add here that I don't have any issues with people smoking the occasional bit of cheeba in the privacy of their own homes.  What I dislike is people doing it essentially in public, within a few yards of homes filled with small kids.  And unlike the type of pot smoker I was, er, rather KNEW, back in the day, these douches make all kinds of noise, blare shitty music, and drop more F-bombs than the main character in a Tarantino film.  When I think of my stoner days, I remember (partially) watching a lot of surf movies, eating Doritos, or staring into the mirror over the fireplace saying, "Dude, I don't think it's working."  Not standing around in a driveway talking about how you're gonna "lay a motherfucking beat down on that n____."  

I suppose I could call the cops (lord knows enough of 'em come into my store on any given day), but...something keeps holding me back.  I'm not afraid -- these kids couldn't find the motivation to retaliate in any significant way -- I just don't wanna be "that lady."  You know, the mean old lady on the block who yells at people for stepping on her grass, keeps about 435 cats, gives out toothbrushes to trick-or-treaters, and is generally a huge pain in the ass?  

So, what shall I do?  Enjoy the contact high, or rat 'em out? 


  1. It depends how your relationship with them has been so far. I get scared of retaliation. I mean, if they're so brazen as to smoke weed openly, imagine what other boundaries they're willing to cross. Crappy neighbors are the worst, especially those that don't share their drugs. KIDDING.

    And I can totally relate to picking up on the weed smell. I know instantly what it is.

  2. I'm not one for being a narc over something I partook in a lot in the past, but you might actually be doing them a favor by leaving an anonymous message with 1-888-Lock-U-Up. They obviously don't care about what effect their pot smoking has on you or your family, their dropping of the F-Bomb or racist remarks for that matter. They obviously want attention and people to know they are smoking so hook them up. I'd say try asking them to keep it inside first, but if they decide not too then they will obviously think it was you that got them busted. You could try leaving a random note on their door in the middle of the night instead of confronting them personally. Just a little "I know you little shits are smoking pot and you are being watched." If they keep it up after that then I wouldn't have any remorse whatsoever for snitching. Gotta look out for what's best for your family and the other neighbors. Want the Flufficer to impersonate a Man In Black and pay them a visit?! That could be fun. :)